Hey, I am Merry, I am a normal teenage girl in a normal neighborhood with a normal family…Ha yea right, and don’t we all wish that we had a clean cut neighborhood, clean cut friends and family? Just like the Brady bunch! We want the trust and the love no matter what happens, we do not want to be blamed for something we ourselves never did. Well truth is we do not. Moreover, sad but true we have to live with it. I am 18 just starting to date, going to parties, got my first real kiss. That is when my mom went hyperactive, that is when my mom started wanting to know every single detail of my life. Like where I was going, when I will be home and who I am going to be with. God, I wish she had stopped worrying about me. I wish I had my own life, I wish…I wish I did not even wish for it, well, this is now that was then, let me tell you what happened to change my mind…
“You are not leaving this house with that outfit,” my mother said with rage.
Rolling my eyes I head for the door, I wanted out, out of this house, out of this world. All I knew was I had to get out of here no matter what my mother says
“Get back here young lady!”
As I look back, I see the hurt in my mom’s eyes, but also the anger. My blood started to run hotter then lava and I knew that if I did not get out soon I would just end up hurting again. Swiftly I turned my head back around, open the door, and head out in my 4 inch heel’s, mini skirt, and tight short sleeve mini shirt. Looking around to see if Randea, one of my closest friends, had arrived as every Saturday night we were heading out to the mall to see if she and I could grab up some that is where Jared and I had first met, at St. Charles mall.
As we were on the way to the mall we past 84th street, a whole lot of old memories started to come back as I looked at the still burned down building. Surprisingly it was once the most popular under-21 club there was. That night on October 2 was the night I lost Jared. He died that night from suffocation, from all the smoke that he had inhaled. My friends and I were lucky to be alive, and do I mean lucky. Every time I think of him, I start to feel terrible, because earlier that day we had, had a fight in the club because of what I was wearing. According to him, it was a little too showy and we had planned to go our separate ways to see if we could cool down before the night ended. My friends hate it when I think of him because it was over a year ago and I still feel so god damn terrible and I cannot stop it. My mom said I am still grieving over him because I never really had a chance to grieve for real because of my friends not wanting me to be the “party pooper” but I am not positive that is what is wrong.
.I shook my head slightly; I felt a hot tear fall down my cheek. Soon after I could feel my eyes start to water, I shut them as fast as I could and leaned back slowly on the seat I was sitting in trying to get my mind off the matter until later tonight. I knew if I got any further into the thought I would just break down and cry. However, as my friends say there is no time like the present so stay into it and do not go to the past what has done is done and nothing can change that no matter how hard you try. Besides, the last thing I need is for Linda and my other friends to see me crying over something that happened a little over a year ago. Once we had arrived at the mall, we saw the cutest boy. He had a great hair cut with dirty blonde hair, good, tight butt (from what we could see) and the best-looking muscles.
One my friend, Kristy tells me, “Hey, why don’t you go talk to him?”
I was kind scared at first because my mind would not be off Jarrod, but I walked up slowly, felling a bit weird, I just whispered to myself, “Go you can do this, you’ve got to try and get past the past.”
I start talking to him and all of a sudden this girl comes up to him, he smiles down at her then at they walk away into the mall. I was so embarrassed; I started to get a pinkish tinge in my cheeks.
I turned quickly as I headed to my group of girls I said to Kristy “Way to go,” in a sarcastic manner.
I knew I should not have said that to her but what do you expect. I was angry with her but then again with myself for thinking I could do such a thing to try to get rid of my past just because of some cute guy.
I noticed she did not notice my tone because of her nonchalant attitude as she said to me “Fine, you pick then.”
We walked in the mall and as I looked around the inner mall, I did not see any people that were reasonable to talk to because of age and a little because of looks. I wouldn’t say I was shallow just scared of what my friends would think if I even thought about talking to a kid younger then me and, who knows what my mom would say to a older guy, I didn’t want to think about it. So I continued to look around but there was no such luck. So we started walking astride, and of course, I got thirsty. I looked around as casual as I could and finally I saw a soda machine. I motioned to Linda where I was going and went to get a drink.
When kolej escort I got to the machine I found out I forgot my money in my purse, which is in the car. I stomped my foot angrily, turned around and immediately bumped into this guy extremely cuter then the first. He had ice blue eyes almost like polished glass, a little taller then me , he was so hot, he wasn’t a muscle man but then again I always did hate those type’s because they aren’t soft. Best of all he had the greatest smile. Surprisingly as I looked him over that feeling never came, the feeling of being guilty about looking at another boy other then Jared. Surprisingly I did not have that aching feeling in my stomach and chest as I normally do around even the jerkiest person.
When I looked into his eyes I felt as if my insides were just going to melt, then he said in a nonchalant voice “Let me get that for you,” he put the money in the machine, and me being me, could not do anything but smile and stay speechless.
Smiling, he said, “There you go”
I smiled back and whispered, “Thanks,” picked what I wanted; as I did this, he said just as calm as could be, “Oh cool, I love Mr. Pibb too.”
He put his change in the machine, another Mr. Pibb fell out, he took the top off, took a drink. As he did this, I say again, “Thanks umm…by the way my name is Merry.”
He wiped his lips with the back of his hand and put the top back on. Looking at me he smile the cutest smile you could ever see -it just had this power to make your insides melt- and said, “Hi Merry mine’s…mine’s josh but I rather people call me Ian, its my middle name.”
As we started talking I had lost track of time, my cheeks had started hurting due to laughing so much; people walking by looked at us strangely, which just caused us to laugh harder.
Looking down at his watch his eyes widened open, “Oh wow, its 8:30…”
“So? What’s wrong with that?” “Oh, nothing really, just that my friends were suppose to come by here at seven so we could hang out.”
Playing with my tongue ring a little I offer, “Well we could walk around the mall if you like?”
“Really? That’d be cool.”
I looked back into his lovely eyes and in a kind of funny voice I reply, “Sure.”
In light tone, he replied, “Ok cool, umm…are there any stores you would like to go to,”
I automatically said, “Yea, but could you hold on a minute?”
I left him there at the table we had gone to while talking and headed into the store I had seen my girls go into last. I found kimmi
“Hey sweets,” her voice chimed through the muggy air.
“Kimmi, I gotta tell you something,” my smile widened.
“Ooo what is it?”
“I caught me a bass in the New York harbor.”
Her eyebrow arched in confusion and I laughed at her idiotic look.
“A guy sweets a guy, go ahead and tell the girls I going to go with him,” her eyes softened and grinned a crocket grin. (Her only real flaw)
We said our goodbyes and went out separate ways I headed back to josh and she went back into A&E.
“You back?” his eyes looked at me hopefully
“Yup I am yours” I giggled at the double meaning and waited for his come back.
To my surprise, he just smiled. He took my hand and we started walking through the stores, talking about small things. He had such a voice; one I have never thought I would ever hear in my whole life, Jarrod could not even make me feel this way and he was my first true love.
I walked casually with him over to my favorite store Torrid. As we walked around hand in hand, I felt his warm skin against mine; I could feel my body just melting inside. I started looking around the store and saw some people looking at us.
As we entered the store, I looked around and noticed a pair of earrings that matched my necklace they had black jade in the middle backed with silver. His eyes followed mine and I could tell he knew that I wanted the earrings. As I looked threw the story at clothes he left my side and before we left I noticed a bag in his right hand. He looked down and smiled as he handed the bag to me.
Looking up into his beautiful eyes I shyly said, “Thank you.” He looked back and said with a cute little chuckle.
“Well a pretty present for a pretty girl.”
I slightly giggled; we stayed at the mall until closing time. As we walked outside the nip in the air made me hug myself because along with my purse I had left my jacket in the car. He looked over at me and immediately took his jacket off and put it around my shoulders.
Under his breath he said “Umm…its a little cold and I think your friends left about a hour ago so umm…I was wondering”
I cut him off in mid-sentence, “I’d love it if you took me home!”
He smiled the biggest smile I have ever seen, as we looked into each other’s eyes he pulled me strongly into his warm comforting arms and kissed me intensely. If I must say it was the best kiss I could ever remember having it. Felt as it would last forever…and I wanted it to. He took kurtuluş escort his lips from mine. Smiling, my eyes slowly opened. He smiled back a boyish broad smile; I must admit it was somewhat funny because I have not seen that kind of grin since I was in grade school
I looked over at the almost empty parking lot thinking of how I can change the subject for I saw in his eyes blankness as if there was nothing on his mind. I look around the parking lot I saw there are a few cars still in the parking lot. Though it is almost empty, I was curious so I ask in the calmest voice I could find, “Which car’s yours?”
He started grinning, “The mustang.”
Leisurely we started walking to the car. Looking around, I tightened his jacket around my shoulders, continuing to look around the parking lot I noticed there was an uncomforting silence. I figured he was not fond of the quiet as I was. I could see it lined in his face.
‘I can’t stand this silence any longer’ I though
My eyes focused on the ground as I ask casually, “Where do you live? I wouldn’t want you to have to go to any great lengths just for me.”
In a half leer he said, “I live in Philadelphia on my own but my parents live basically right down the road. I’m just in Maryland for a few weeks till summer breaks over,” he gave a shrug. “But right now, I’m living in ST. Mary’s around Leonardtown. What about you?”
I tightened the jacket as I possible as I could around me the scent of him strong and masculine. In light voice I whisper, “I live in ST. Mary’s too, but I live down on piney point; just about 30 minutes away.” Looking up at him, he puts his strong arm around me and I look back down to the ground.
He just tightened his grip on me and I had to smile, he was either cold or trying to get warm or trying to keep me warm either way I liked it. Once we had gotten to the car he opened the passenger side door and semi-bowed. Trying my hardest not to laugh I get into the car and buckle my seat belt. He got in on the other side, buckled his and we were off in his ’89 mustang.
The whole way home, we talked about little things like where we grew up about our families and well you know little things nothing big just the little. However, for some reason all I could really think of was my mom and how I had hurt her but I did not start thinking about it until he had mentioned his family situation with his mom and dad.
As we drive up the drive way I see the porch light on but no car in the drive way I think to myself, “Huh; I guess mom’s not home.”
I look over at Josh with his posture grand and his eyes dead on the road and I wonder if he would like to come in before he had to go or at least till he got tired if he was not already. Still looking at him, he stopped the car all of a sudden and looked over at me.
Smiling I ask, “Umm…would you like to come in?” I start to undo the seat belt, got it undone.
As I got out, he sort of laughed and said, “Yeah sure.”
When he started to get out of the car, I shut the door and wait for him to walk over to me.
Looking into his eyes he took my hand in his and we walk up to the house, bending down I got my key from under the doormat then unlock the door and walked in.
Turning around to him I semi-smile and questioned, “What do you think?”
He smiled down at me and whispered as he touched my check tenderly, “Beautiful.” I smiled and blushed as I laughed slightly and whispered, “I meant about the house.”
With that remark he walked around the living room looking at all the pictures of me and my family, the movies we have and last the CD player he questioned, “Do you have any CD’s?”
Grinning, I told him, “Next to the DVDs.”
Walking into the kitchen, I gather two glasses fill them with ice and place them hard on the table. Look down at my cloths with great disgust; they looked wrinkled and smelled of musk from the city part of town. I walk to the other door through the door on other side of the kitchen. walking through the door I look into the living room and see that he has a 98 degree CD in his hand it was my favorite one 98 digress and rising. Almost as if I was in a hurry I run up the stairs and into my room.
Looking deep into my closet I hear my favorite song playing down the steps called “still” by 98 degrees I hurried up my choosing I found my outfit that I had worn the night I lost Jared ‘I thought I burned this’ I say to myself in a shaky voice. Shrugging I hang the item back up in the closet not knowing what I am doing I change into comfortable jeans and a comfortable cotton t-shirt.
Walking down the steps I slow down and walk quietly into the living room I stand in the door as I see josh in the middle of the room with a microphone in his hand and him singing and dancing along with the music it wasn’t till then that I purely feel deeply in love with him. Placing my hand just enough over my mouth to cover it I cannot help but laugh as his voice brakes on the high notes.
Turning around, as the song ended; maltepe escort stunned he looked at me with another boyish grin and held out the microphone for me to take. Saying, “You heard me now it’s my turn to hear you!”
I bust out laughing and say, “No way can’t I so sing!”
Walking over to me he utter, “Oh come on, you can’t be any worse then me!”
Smiling I take the microphone in my hand and fumble it around for a couple minutes. Look up at him and say boldly, “Ok well umm I guess ill sing this one but I will need your help when it comes to the male singing if you don’t mind,” I look at him sweetly and blushing scarlet.
Stuttering he said, “Umm sure, which song is it?”
Going through my CDs I find my grease CD put it in the CD player and turn it to song # 3 called summer nights I get the other microphone plug it in and hand it to josh. I push play and he starts singing his part.
Thinking to myself, I wonder if he is having as much fun as I am with the singing I figured he was with the sparkle entering his eyes as I look into them. I must say he was a good singer and I wonder nervously if I was doing as good as I hopped.
As the song ended, we both ended up just falling onto the couch both laughing, then the next song came on and I started calming down. Looking up at him, I saw the same glisten in his eyes as I had saw in Jarrod’s every time he and I had ever got as close as josh and I were now I found myself thinking. ‘Maybe that’s why I don’t mind being this close to josh, because he in so many ways was like jarred but then he was also different.’
Jared would have never even thought twice about singing a duet with me he thought singing like that was a sin. He did not as if the music that others listen to either he just liked church music. he always thought that I didn’t believe in god because of the music I listen to and that wasn’t the reason at all it was because I was a Wicca but I couldn’t tell him that, he was a real Christian not one of those that just go to church, but a all time christen. He was still a virgin at the age of 16 that is how christen he was and no one could ever think of changing his mind about it.
Looking over at josh, I saw that his eyes were starting to shut. I smiled an inner smile and wondered if he even slept like Jarred! Quiet and sweet but I did not really want to find out. I sat up and nudged him a little.
He looked at me with a half smile and said, “Maybe I should be heading home its getting late.”
surprising myself I said, “No don’t its ok you don’t have to go its to late for you to go driving its insane this late at night why don’t you just stay here tonight and tomorrow you can go home we have a spare bed room.”
He looked at me with strange suspicion and said, “If you’d like me to, I don’t want to impose.”
I giggle slightly and say, “You won’t be imposing at all I’d like it very much if you stayed.”
As I stood up I could feel his eyes on me I turned around just as he moved his eyes to the ceiling I just had to laugh, and so did he. I took his hand in mine and said “this way” and I slowly started walking to the spare bedroom as he stopped walking and pulled me close to him. I could feel his hot breath on my skin as I looked into his eyes he smiled, leaned in, and kisses me. If I wanted to I would have stopped it right there but I did not want to so I just kissed back that was all I could do.
As he kissed me I felt that burning sensation growing in my stomach I haven’t gotten that for a long time and I never knew why I got it neither but I did and surprisingly still do.
He slightly pulled back breathing a little heavy, I let him I didn’t force him to do anything he looked into my eyes and I looked into his he asked me, “Where is the spare bed room?”
I walked to the back of the house somewhat disappointed I did not know why but I was, right next to my bedroom was the spare I showed him and he walked himself into the room and sat down on the bed.
I asked as he did that, “Would you like for me to get you anything?”
With a boyish smile he whispered, “Nah I’m fine. Thanks anyway.”
“Your welcome,” blushing slightly I look down at my hands.
I walk out of the room and into my room. After I had shut my bedroom door, I opened it ajar I look out through the crack to see if I can see him. I can and because of that, I walk over to my dresser. Undressing leaving nothing on, I stand in front of the mirror which shows through the door, after I am done I pick up my lotion bottle, put a little in the palm of my soft hand and start rubbing it over my body starting with my arms then shoulders and going down my naked body. I gently cup my breasts and then to go the center of my chest. Showing my cleavage after I had finished applying the lotion to my body, I slip into a sleek satin nightgown and lay down beneath my cotton sheets. The cool rush of the summer air swiftly glided through the screen window, brushing lightly against my skin. I turn so I’m facing the window letting the breeze from the ocean lull me to sleep a massive blanket of heat arouses me from a peaceful sleep pressure pressing down hard against my body feeling trapped my eyes open to a deep blackness. My breath suddenly holds in my thought as I start to panic sending my body into a cold sweat.