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Friendly Heartbreak

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I didn’t know she was coming to the beach, I thought I was far enough from her. My heartbeat jumps through the roof at her sight and my head gets all tangled in my emotions for her. Even though I would like to kiss her my love, she is far from me and she is not alone but, more importantly, she has friend-zoned me.—Shelsea has been my friend for a year and a half, bonding pretty solidly since we first met through the book club. No subjects are off limits: politics, religion, and sexuality to name a few. Surprisingly, we love to talk about the latter, exposing many of our deepest desires around beers. Our friendship evolved with time, getting closer and closer, Escort Fikirtepe until one months ago when I had to spend a week at her place while mine was renovated.It shouldn’t have changed anything in our relationship but it ended up being what led to my current state of mind. She invited me to sleep in her bed on Wednesday night. The pleasure we shared was sublime, the discovery of our bodies was electric, the feelings we expressed were intense. Then, Saturday was the coup de grâce. We fucked again but this time, it was so emotional, so intimate. We weren’t having sex, I felt we were making love.Sunday morning came Sancaktepe escort and I had to go back home, ending one of the most emotional weeks of my life. I was in pain during the bus ride, the loss of our closeness was difficult to bear. I bundled it up as best as I could but I knew I was hooked. We restarted our usual interactions, seeing each other in class or around beers but it wasn’t the same. I wanted to go back to her place, I wanted to live there, I wanted to sleep in her bed.Then, she shared, around two Guinness, that she had an amazing time with another friend. Even though she didn’t explain what happened, üsküdar escort bayan I could gather that it was a night she will remember. I stayed friendly and engaged the best I could but deep inside I was brewing a darker mix than the drink I had in my hand, I was jealous.The ugly emotion followed me all through the week, heavily clouding my mind and weighing on my heart like I never felt before. Although I was happy for her to have had that special moment, I couldn’t stop comparing my time with her, even though I knew it was unfair. When I couldn’t stand the pressure, I told her about my love for her and my jealousy of her adventure.I feared her reaction, expecting her to walk away as I spooked her with my confession or, worse, that she would shut down our friendship. To my surprise, she was emphatic with me, although, she made clear that she wasn’t looking for a romantic relationship with me. I was friend-zoned in the most caring way I have ever experienced.

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