I came up with an alternate ending to the story and decided to post it. You can decide which one is more fitting.
It was the first day after vacation, and everyone was following his or her morning routine. Angel and I were trying to figure out how we would survive the day without each other.
“The tutor will be here at eight, and he’ll be home-schooling you for a few months while we figure out where you can go for a real education,” I said as I pulled on my backpack.
“I’ll miss you,” she murmured while kissing me.
We tried to ignore everyone watching us.
My siblings, parents, and I went outside, with Phil, Emily, and I being driven to school by our dad. The February weather seemed especially cold, and I realized it was because I didn’t have my arm around Angel. As we drove down the bumpy driveway, I could feel my body becoming colder and colder with every inch of distance between us. But I was also in a good mood; I would be going back to school pain-free, and with Angel in my life, nothing in the world could hurt me.
It was gym class and the subject of the day was station exercises. The gymnasium had been split up into areas, each with a different exercise or activity to be performed for a set amount of time. Arriving at the chin-up station, I jumped up onto the bar with gusto. I normally hated gym class with every fiber of my being, but my good mood and lack of pain was making me restless.
“I thought you couldn’t be in gym class because of your cancer?” one of the other students asked, watching me move like a piston on the bar.
“I found the perfect treatment.”
After a dozen lifts, I finally jumped off and landed on the floor. My muscles were twitching from the relief of no pain.
“Tom is coming back to school tomorrow, and I think he is going to kick your ass,” another student said as he started doing chin-ups.
I chuckled and cracked my knuckles. “That punk has been home-schooled all this time for some minor injuries while I barely missed a day while being in endless full-body agony. What a coward. Whatever, if he wants to fight me, he can go ahead. It’s not like he can do anything to hurt me.”
As the day wore on, I missed Angel more and more. I longed to look into her eyes, to hear her sweet voice, and to hold her in my arms. I would sit in class, looking out the window. Everything around me was drowned out, as she was the only thing on my mind.
I was anxious as the bus got closer and closer to my house. The instant the bus stopped at my driveway and the doors opened, I bolted out, running as fast as I could. I ran up the long unpaved driveway, ignoring the cold. I didn’t even notice as my foot broke through the ice over a deep puddle and was submerged up past my ankle in icy water. I kept running until I got to the house and wrenched open the door. I took a step inside and Angel jumped into my arms, kissing me passionately. Funny, the two of us together reminded me of those old Calvin and Hobbes comics I used to read.
“I missed you,” I said while pulling off my coat and backpack.
“I missed you too,” she whispered.
We made our way upstairs and into the bedroom. Instead of throwing ourselves onto the bed, we crashed into the wall by the window, not even noticing as we ripped our clothes off and licked the inside of each other’s mouths. As soon as Angel’s jeans and panties were off, I got down on my knees and buried my lips and tongue in her sweet slit. Lathering her insides and drinking her essence, I was on Cloud 9 while simultaneously making Angel moan in ecstasy. Her pussy tasted so sweet and was so soft, I actually lifted her up and let her rest both her legs on my shoulders so that I could delve even deeper with my tongue. Having ripped off her shirt and bra, Angel was massaging her breasts with one hand and running her fingers through my hair, stammering how good it felt and how much she had missed my touch. While working diligently, I couldn’t help but look up and admire her full breasts, dominating my view as if I was standing at the base of two mountains.
Without the slightest pause, I performed my much-enjoyed duty until Angel experienced her first climax, filling the house with her shrill calls of ecstasy. While she stepped back down onto the ground with shaky legs, I stood up and fully undressed. She was quickly ready for me, and without wasting time, she wrapped her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist while I entered her. Holding her against the wall, I began thrusting with deep, powerful shoves, slamming the head of my cock against the entrance to her womb over and over. Each time I forced myself into her, Angel would release a beautiful yelp of happiness and her hold would momentarily slacken from the deep shivers running throughout her body
As much as I loved being able to go deeper than usual, the inefficiencies and lack of comfort of the position quickly drained our patience. As if reading each other’s minds, I pulled out of Angel just as she unwrapped her legs from around my waist. With a coy smile on her face, she turned around and stood by the window, shaking her shapely ass at me. Grinning, I brushed her hair aside and ran my tongue up her back, brought it up to the back of her ear, and then began kissing her neck to try and nonverbally express my gratitude and describe to her just how perfect she was.
With my dick rock hard and literally pulsating with each beat of my heart, I got behind Angel and entered her with ease, drawing a blissful hum from the penetration. After a few tentative strokes to get accustomed to the movements and angle, I placed my hands on Angel’s hips and immediately began hammering her with the speed of a woodpecker. She was pushed up against the window, crying out joyfully as I fucked her. Each and every time, I would slam into her with all of my strength, entering as deeply as possible and as fast as possible. With each powerful thrust, Angel’s breasts would slam against the window, and with the coldness of the glass, her nipples quickly became like gumdrops, while her perspiration and breath left a beautiful imprint of her hands and chest on the window. I don’t know which sounded better, the clapping of her taut ass against my lap or her breasts against the window.
“Oh god, Marcus! It feels so good! You’re driving me crazy!”
Wanting to move the scene to the bed, I put my arms under Angel’s knees and picked her up. Angel just thought I was changing the position again and began grinding her pussy against my cock as I held her up, moaning and grunting like a wild animal. More than happy to indulge her, I began lifting her up and down with my arms while using my lower body to thrust up into her. To the wet sound of her womanhood getting penetrated over and over again by my cock, Angel leaned back and we began to kiss, quite gently in contrast to the wild fucking just two feet away.
Soon my arms began to ache and I decided that it was time to move on. Gently, I set Angel down on the bed, momentarily pulling out of her. Knowing what I wanted, she held herself up on the edge on her hands and knees, inviting me back in. I accepted the invite and mounted her like a dog, drawing fresh moans and cries of happiness as I fucked her with everything I had and with renewed speed. The whole house was filled with the clapping sound of flesh against flesh as I drove into Angel with all the power I could summon, desperate to satisfy and pleasure her.
For an hour and a half, we continued like that, continuously switching positions and screwing like there was no tomorrow. Our bodies had been starved of each other all day and we were desperate to make up for lost time. Eventually, we stopped for a break, simply to catch our breath and give my manhood a reprieve. Now was my favorite part; Angel and I holding each other as we let our bodies relax from the sensual act of love committed only moments ago.
“How was your day?” I asked as I could feel Angel’s gentle breathing slow to its usual pace.
“Kind of boring. The tutor gave me a small test to see what my mind remembered. He was fairly surprised by how well I did, saying that it was amazing how I remembered how to do algebra but didn’t even know my last name,” she hummed, pressing herself tightly against me.
With my chin resting on her shoulder, I smiled and gently brushed aside a lock of hair over her face, tucking it behind her ear. “If only the world knew who you really were.”
“Well it is because to you. I may not have been born with memories of my own, but I do have your memories. So thanks for the help. How was your day?”
“Great. It was so nice to be without pain. I can never even begin to show my gratitude for saving me.”
“You don’t need to thank me, just love me.”
“Some people didn’t believe me when I said that I found the perfect treatment for my pain…”
“So a lot of people are starting to think I never had cancer. By tomorrow, probably half of the school will think I had been faking it to get attention.”
She looked at me with disbelief.
“Don’t worry, I don’t give a rat’s ass what anyone there thinks. I don’t want any friends. Hell, I don’t even need to acknowledge anyone there. I severed all ties with almost everyone else on the planet long before I met you. You’re the only one I need.”
Several silent moments passed by.
“Something else is on your mind.”
“How’d you know?”
Angel pressed her cheek against mine, and just as I was about to think she was going to whisper something in my ear, she instead gave a gentle hum.
“A school bully that I beat up is coming back tomorrow. He was one of the people that tormented me for the past five years.”
Angel looked at me and I could see worry in her eyes. “Marcus, I am so sorry.”
“Its fine. There is a good chance that he will try to fight me tomorrow, maybe then I can get some revenge. Last time, I strangled him, shattered his nose, broke his eye socket, and busted out all of his teeth, but he deserves a much more severe punishment.”
“Well just don’t kill him. I don’t want the cops to take you away.”
The next day, I was shoved in the hall and knocked to the ground.
“Get up you son of a bitch!” I heard Tom yell behind me.
People in the hall immediately stopped to watch.
“Showtime,” I said to myself with a smile.
I stood up and faced Tom. His nose was crooked and his lips were covered in scars from getting cut up by his teeth. Many of his teeth had been put back in, however, most were fake. He would never be able to smile without people laughing at him. I had a devious grin on my face as I pulled off my coat and backpack. Standing before him, I released a booming laugh, feeling my rage mix with the sense of invincibility I had gained since meeting Angel.
“You want to fight me? You think you can even hurt me?! You’re nothing more than an insect!”
“I’ll kill you, you bastard!” Tom howled, pulling back his arm and punching me in the side of the face, just below the eye.
My face whipped back with his fist never breaking connection, but Tom’s arrogant grin was lost when he saw that I was still smiling, even with his fist pressed against my cheek.
“You think you can hurt me? You think you can scare me? Nothing you do will ever reach me! I’ve outgrown your puny human world!”
I lashed out and punched Tom in the nose with all the strength in my body, literally holding nothing back. He staggered back with his hands over his broken nose, giving a muffled howl of pain while blood streamed out from between his fingers. My fist was shaking, not in pain or fear, but happiness. The smile on my face was a bloodthirsty maniacal one, burning with the haunted flames of the past and the fearless flames of the future. I was finally free.
“I’ve experienced my own death, witnessed the end of all reason, suffered more agony in the last few months than you will ever experience in your lifetime, and finally discovered happiness through something beyond your comprehension! There is nothing in the world that can I can fear or desire, nothing you can do to hurt me! I’ve broken free of this world and outgrown you!”
I lunged forward and punched Tom in the face. The blow grazed his forehead, sparing him most of the impact and allowing him to deliver a punch straight to my gut. While it was strong enough to knock the wind out of me, after the levels of pain I had endured, it felt like I had just gotten hit by a beach ball. Laughing like a maniac, I stood upright and again punched him, giving an instant black eye. Roaring in pain and rage, he tackled me and slammed me against the wall, then began punching me in the face wildly. While his punches decimated my flesh, they were unable to rob me of my smile and confidence. Sporting two black eyes and bruises across my face, I reached up and caught his fist, stopping the barrage.
“What the fuck are you?!” he screamed, unable to believe I was still conscious.
“Karma. You ruined my life with your cruelty, now I will turn that cruelty on you ten fold. I shall show you the true meaning of despair, just as you have shown me. You shall learn the difference between our levels of hatred.”
I slammed my elbow into his face and fractured his eye socket. Tom staggered back, and without any hesitation, I delivered a punch to the gut that made him buckle, granting me the perfect opportunity to slam my knee in his face and bust his already broken nose. Nearly delirious from the pain, Tom was essentially helpless as I began pummeling him with my fists, beating him wildly until my knuckles bled. I had to admit, the fact that he stayed on his feet was commendable, but that only gave me a continuous reason to keep punching him.
Within seconds, it was Tom set against the wall, completely at the mercy of my punches. His face was a bloody mess, even worse than mine, but I wouldn’t stop. As long as I didn’t kill him, I had nothing to worry about.
‘Thank you, Angel. Thank you for setting me free,’ I thought to myself before a teacher grabbed me and pulled me away.
Three weeks suspension, a small price to pay for my vengeance. I was lucky not to have been expelled, but once again, Tom throwing the first punch was all the defense I needed. My parents, who were both furious that I had gotten suspended yet again but sympathetic when they saw how bruised up my face was, brought me home early.
“Oh my god, are you all right?!” Angel fearfully exclaimed, meeting me at the door and examining my face.
“Yeah, I’m fine, but if I miss anymore days after this, I won’t be able to graduate and will have to take summer school.”
“Your mother and I are going to discuss your punishment. You had better hope we don’t leave you out in the back yard with a tent and a trash bag to sleep in,” my dad said as he and my mom walked into the living room.
“Come on, let’s get some ice on those bruises,” Angel murmured, leading me to the kitchen.
“My suspension is actually pretty good news. Except for when your tutor comes and my family returns, we’ll have the house to ourselves for three weeks.”
Once again, my parents were distraught on whether to be mad at me or be accepting of my actions. Angel and I were ecstatic. During the morning, Angel and I would sleep in for an extra hour, wake up and make love while half-asleep, then go have breakfast, and wait for Angel’s tutor to show up. Once he arrived, I would help her with her work in all the ways I could. After the tutor left, Angel and I would have lunch and spend the rest of the afternoon chatting or making love.
One afternoon, Angel and I were taking a walk through the woods. Snow was gently falling from the cloudy sky and there wasn’t even the slightest breeze. We were walking hand in hand, just enjoying the glass-like scene of frozen nature. We stepped into a vast meadow, transformed into a sea of snow banks by the ageless winter.
We both fell back into a snow bank, letting the crystallized mattress cushion our fall as if we were immune to gravity.
“Beautiful,” Angel breathed as we gazed up into the falling snow.
She looked at me and placed her delicate fingers on my cheek. I pulled off my glove and did the same. Angel didn’t shiver as my chilled hand brushed against her soft porcelain skin. From her hand on my cheek and my hand on hers, I could feel warmth seeping into my body.
“Marcus, there is something I have been thinking about for a while. It was something that you said to me on the day we met. It was when you were telling me why you were about to kill yourself. You said that you hated and were disgusted by the human race. What did you mean? I have your memories, but I don’t know your thought processes.”
I sighed as I tried to think of how I was going to explain it. “When I was in that school for troubled kids, my soul was full of rage. Not only were my tormenters getting off without punishment, I had been locked away like a criminal. I looked at the system that had screwed me over and the twisted psychology of the bullies that had made my life a living hell. I realized that if I were to understand the forces that had ruined my life, I would need to understand the heart of those forces. I began to look at the human race as if I was not human. I looked at history and I studied the people around me. I looked at their flaws, their imperfections, their weaknesses, and their predictability. I was disgusted by what I had found.
Mankind is nothing more than an evolutionary dead end, the result of our ancestors becoming smart enough to survive in the harsh wilderness and thereby losing their evolutionary drive. When early humans overcame the obstacles that get in the way of the lives of species, they found that there were no longer any obstacles that required brain function higher than what they had. True, we made some technological progress: we invented weapons to defend ourselves, machines to help us harness the earth’s resources, and medicine to extend our lives, but we lacked the intelligence to use them wisely.
We became smart enough to build communities, but remained stupid enough to fight over resources. We became smart enough to use fire, but remained stupid enough to use it to destroy nature. We became smart enough to invent thousands Escort and languages and religions, but remained stupid enough to be unable to find compromise or peace in a single one. We’re caught in an evolutionary limbo, where any opposing force that requires brain function higher than what we already have would undoubtedly kill us. The better you become, the harder it is to keep going, and we’ve reached our peak. Damn, it is one pathetically short peak. Now we’re stuck with the ability to make things that we’re too stupid to use properly, and underdeveloped minds that aren’t prepared for the things they think they can do.
I turned my back on this pitiful species and severed all ties with this world.” I then softened my tone and pressed my forehead against hers. “Screw the world, I don’t need it anymore. As long as I have you, I am content. Mankind means nothing to me. You are all that is important.”
Angel’s eyes sparkled as she smiled. “Can we head back? Its cold out here.”
A look of confusion crossed my face as I moved my hand from her cheek to her neck. “You don’t feel chilled at all.”
“Yeah, but its too cold out here for us to show each other how much we love each other,” she said as she kissed me.
Our romantic vacation eventually came to an end, and I realized I was basically getting shot with a double-barrel shotgun. Not only were we going to separated during the day again, but also being out for three weeks meant that I was drowning in missed home and schoolwork. I would have to work for hours every evening to try and get catch up, meaning that I still couldn’t be with Angel as much as I wanted to. If I didn’t claw my way back up from the abyss, then it meant summer school and no graduation for me, which meant that the time I could spend with Angel would be decimated. But after dinner when Angel and I would go up to bed, the tender love that had accumulated during the day would be released with unparalleled passion.
With the arrival of April, spring fever was injected into the weather like steroids. All of the snow was blasted away by the sun and the temperature was reaching into the high 50’s, basically tropical climate for Mainers. I had almost an ominous feeling about the warmth, because I knew that the summer would be unbearably hot. With the warm weather thawing everything out, Angel was getting me to do the one thing that no one else could make me do: exercise. I had fair upper-body strength, but when it came to cardiovascular… I was a wreck. All those years of lounging and staying uninvolved with everything had come back to haunt me. I hated all exercise, but being with Angel made it tolerable… not that going for a daily jog didn’t make me feel like my lungs were filled with razor blades.
One afternoon, Angel and I were jogging through the park by my home. Actually, she was jogging; I was shortening my lifespan by trying to keep up. We stopped when we finally broke out from under the trees, feeling the sunlight on us. I was leaning on my knees, trying to catch my breath. I nearly collapsed from relief when I heard her speak those four golden words: “Let’s take a break.”
In the shadow of the branches and budding leaves, we rested beneath the branches of a tree on the edge of the meadow. Angel was sitting against the trunk, and I was lying down with my head in her lap. The air was filled with the sound of chirping birds and animals taking advantage of the warm weather. She was humming a soft tune and I could feel blissful relaxation seeping into my tired body like rain on soil. The fresh spring air was mending my aching lungs, the perfume of the thawing ground and the revived plants was making me melt in bliss, the warmth of Angel’s body was easing my muscles like a gentle massage, and the hypnotic notes of her humming felt like a soothing lullaby.
“You know, back when I was sick, I used to contemplate life and death and what they meant. It wasn’t a morbid gothic thing, just a curiosity, a preparation for what I thought was coming.”
“Oh really? What did you come up with?” she asked as she leaned down and kissed me on the forehead.
“I don’t believe there is any meaning in life or this universe, no value or purpose other than what we create for ourselves. But even going against that and all the neurons in my brain screaming at me to be logical, I am convinced that there is an afterlife. I’m not talking about a heaven or a hell, but just some plane of existence where the sentience remains.”
“How do you figure?”
“Memories, everything we think and experience is merely a reaction to events and our surroundings, a recorded recoil that takes the form of a memory. Consider the amount of time it takes for information from your senses to be received and process by your brain. It takes maybe a few nanoseconds? But consider everything that can happen and has happened within the span of a few nanoseconds, and in increments of time even shorter. Outside of our human perception, a nanosecond could feel like a century.
Even now, every thought that passes through my mind and everything I feel, they all occur before long before I am truly aware of them, in which case, my detection of them is really nothing more than a memory. I’m always living in the past, my mind trailing behind the flow of time, only reacting when information is memorized and played like a flashback. Every second is just a memory for your mind, while your body moves on through the future.
So if that’s true, is it possible that my whole life could just be a single memory? A movie playing in my mind that is eighteen years long and ongoing, with my brain always wondering what’s going to happen next while my body and the world around me create each new scene about to be viewed? In which case, I could be remembering this from a hundred years into the future, having lived an incredibly long life. This conversation might not be happening in real time, but is actually something that occurred a hundred years ago and I am currently remembering it in real time.
But memories cannot exist without the mind. A movie cannot exist if the disk or tape it’s imprinted on doesn’t exist. Therefor, if I am a memory, a continuous memory being relived from some point in the future, then that memory must go on forever. Maybe the memory doesn’t stop… just because my body stops. The only way this memory can continue is if there is a mind able to play it back, to retain the information. So when I die, my mind will be unable to play the memory and I will cease to exist in my current form. But I do exist, meaning that I still exist in the future, and as long as I exist in the future, I exist in the present, meaning that I exist for all eternity, but my form is merely different from what it once was.”
Angel giggled. “That’s fascinating. I’d love to hear more.”
“Sorry, but that’s all I’ve got so far. Speaking of life and death, I have to ask, where did you come from? I’ve spent more time being grateful that you’re here than just wondering how you came to be. You told me before that you have my memories, but I don’t know how that’s possible. You were originally a figment of my imagination, right?”
“Yes, that is right.”
“Then how can you go from being imaginary to real? How can you go from being inside my mind to having a physical body?”
Angel just smiled and again kissed me on the forehead. “The day is soon coming when I will explain everything to you, but it is not today. Do not worry, do not be afraid, just enjoy the present and look forwards to the future. Always remember that we shall be together until the end of time.”
“As long as those words remain true, I don’t care what happens,” I said sleepily before closing my eyes and dozing off, listening to the sound of Angel’s sweet humming.
School was coming to an end and everyone was getting antsy. Angel and I couldn’t be happier. She would still be homeschooled during the day, but we would have all summer to be with each other, and by the skin of my teeth, I had managed to make up all my missed work. Oh, and graduation was coming. On one of the last few days of school, I was in woodshop class. The grades had been closed, so we were allowed to just use the machinery for whatever we wanted. I was using the gear-controlled table drill to work on a special project.
One of the other students walked over to me. “Rumors say that you have a girlfriend.”
I didn’t even acknowledge him and just continued with my work.
“Is it someone here or from another school?”
By his tone, I knew that it would be a bad idea to answer. If I gave a name, everyone would instantly try to find whoever it was. People would hassle her for being with me and try to anger me by making lewd suggestions about her. I knew human nature well, and I knew what went on in the mind of high school jackasses. I just continued my work, not even looking at him. When I moved to a power sander and began smoothening my creation, the guy got the message that he wouldn’t get anything out of me, and left me to my work.
The day had finally come. It was graduation for the class of 2012. It was a blisteringly hot summer day, because for some reason, schools decide that it’s best to have all the students gather together in polyester robes with full dress pants and shirt (if you’re a guy underneath) when spring turns to summer. And of course, in a school with no AC, all the graduates and their families would be herded into the sweaty gymnasium like an Auschwitz oven. In the hour before the ceremony, the halls were flooded with students and family members, all of them sweating bullets, talking about future plans, and reminiscing about the past twelve years.
Then a ripple passed through the building. The graduation ceremony was not about to start, no; it was something else. At the entrance to the school, with my parents and siblings on either side, Angel had arrived to watch the ceremony. Everyone stared at her, completely hypnotized. She was wearing a skirt that showed off her porcelain legs and a striped top that put her ample breasts on display without showing too much cleavage. No one had ever seen a person with half the beauty as this stranger. With fiery crimson hair that hung down the length of her back, piercing blue eyes that looked like they could see into your very soul, and a smile that was awe-inspiring in its beauty, she was the definition of perfection. I had arrived at the school earlier, so my family just had to find me and then their seats.
Drawn to my as if with a sixth sense, Angel lead my family down the hallways of the school. Every student and even their parents gawked at the goddess passing them by. A few people even tried to record her on their phones. The boys stared at her hungrily, wondering what beautiful Eden she had been hiding from all their lives. The girls were all jealous, glad that such a perfect creature hadn’t been in school with them, lest they would all be invisible in comparison.
They arrived at the library, where most of the students had gathered, as it was the coolest place in the building. Just like in the halls, everyone stared at Angel like she was a gift from some divine being, a beauty unmatched by any human. They followed her with their eyes, unable to believe such a gem existed, and why, of all people, she was walking over to me. I was sitting by the computers, trying to figure out how to redo my tie. I had taken it off soon after arriving at the school, desperate for any relief, but I didn’t know how to get it right. Sweating like a pot roast and cursing, I fumbled with my tie until Angel arrived, the light of my life.
A tender smile on her sweet lips, she leaned down and kissed me. To everyone watching, it was like reality had shattered. For a girl, as stunning and perfect as Angel, to be kissing me of all people, it had to be some cruel trick. She then redid my tie, and after she and my family congratulated me and wished me luck, they departed to find their seats in the gym. As soon as they were gone, everyone rushed in, desperate to know who she was and asking every question they could think of. I just sat silently, smiling with the thought that I had her in my life.
The ceremony was even worse than I thought, with the gym turning into a sweaty, stuffy sauna, and my clothes feeling like wool blankets. The heat was so intense that I honestly thought I blacked out a couple times. I was pretty much buried deep in Satan’s fiery rectum. Trying to ignore the heat, I focused my thoughts on the graduation itself. Before I met Angel, I pretty much hated everyone around me, and after I met her, I was simply indifferent. But sitting there, surrounded by people I spent my childhood with and saw five days a week for twelve years, I was suddenly overwhelmed with nostalgia. I may not have had very many happy memories, but so much of my life was spent around these people. I had always hated change and relished routines, and this was one of the greatest changes of my life, in which I was going to lose so many people that I had grown up with.
Then there were all the memories of school itself. All of the lessons, the projects, endless days that I thought would never end. Those were really over. Most of it had been a drag, but there were still memories that would always remain, and some times that were almost even enjoyable. And now, that’s all they were: memories. I’m not proud of the fact that I almost began to tear up, thinking about this over and over again. But maybe it’s good that I was still human enough to feel this way.
I looked around the gym, trying to find Angel. As beautiful as she was, I couldn’t spot her in the sea of faces, but I knew she was watching me, or at least trying to. I may have been losing the closest people I had to friends, but now I had her. Finally, it was time to receive diplomas, and with our names being called, everyone moved in an unraveling line. My name being called, I stepped forward and received the small leather book with my diploma inside. To think, I was finally done, and now, my new life could begin.
Later that night, after thoroughly showering and hydrating, I stepped outside to see what the conditions were. There wasn’t a single mosquito around, but millions of bright fireflies. The evening was cloudless with a gentle but warm breeze that seemed to carry the perfume-like odor of the changing of seasons. It was absolutely perfect for what I had in mind.
“Angel, do you want to take a walk through the woods with me?”
Sitting on the couch and watching TV, she looked at me and cocked her head to one side. The smallest of smiles crossed her lips as she looked into my eyes. “I would love to.”
We grabbed our shoes and headed out into the woods. There were so many fireflies that we did not need a flashlight; the insects perfectly illuminated the forest. Their light cast a mysterious aura on everything in the woods and altered their colors, the leaves gained a dark blue-green shade and the tree trunks seemed to have a purplish tinge. The illumination was almost haunting. I could see what everything was, but my sense of distance and perception was warped. I could reach out to touch a leaf and my hand would only pass through its shadow. I could take a step towards something several meters away and realize that it was right in front of me the whole time. The forest was filled with endless shadows from the light, shadows that seemed to hold secrets of nature itself.
I watched Angel as she moved through the forest like a ghost. Her eyes were filled with wonder as the fireflies hovered around her like fairies. In the light of the insects, her crimson hair shined like rubies and her blue eyes glowed like the moon. I remembered the day that I had met her, when I she had truly been born into my world, having materialized out of thin air. The way she was wrapped in the light… was supernatural.
I closed my hand around hers. “There is a place I want to show you. Judging by what we have seen so far, I’m guessing that this place will be a work of art.”
A babbling brook carved its way through the soft forest soil. The creek was about a foot in diameter and not even an inch deep. Several smaller rivers connected to it like veins and created islands, dotted with ferns and shrubs. The creek led to a pool, about the size of a coffee table and a foot deep. Surrounding the pool was a dam of rocks to maintain its shape. Next to the pool was a boulder, bathed in moonlight and wrapped in moss. There was a symphony echoing through the clearing. It was a mix of the babbling brook, the croaking of frogs, the chirping of crickets, and the whistling of birds, all forming a melody that no orchestra could match.
“Gorgeous,” Angel gasped.
“When I was a kid, I always used to come out here to play. Nature was the only friend I needed. All these little rivers and islands were a sort of irrigation project. These days, I come here just to think and have some peace.”
“Marcus, this is so beautiful.”
“Angel, there is something I want to ask you.”
She turned to me.
“I know that we are too young to get married, but I was thinking that this could be like a temporary IOU until we are old enough and I can give you a diamond ring.”
I reached into my pocket and pulled out a small velvet jewelry box I had borrowed from my sister. I opened it up, revealing a ring.
I had crafted it in woodshop and made it as smooth as marble, using elegant rosewood to compliment her hair. Golden wire had been stamped into the wood with just the right amount of force, allowing it to stay in without adhesives and without crushing or fracturing the wood. It had been arranged into a looping pattern, almost like a Celtic design. There was no diamond on the ring; instead, there was a bead-sized glass pebble. In the glass was a group of four wires: gold, red, blue, and green, all intertwined in a knot. I had used magnifying glasses and tweezers to shape the wire. Had my hands trembled like they used to, it would have been impossible. I had learned to seal things in glass on the Internet and had done it all myself.
She was breathless.
“Angel, will you be my future fiancée?”
“Yes, of course, Marcus,” she whispered as she put on the ring, the wooden band fitting flawlessly.
I placed my hands on her cheeks and looked into her beautiful eyes.
“I love you, Angel. I love you so much that Escort Bayan I can’t exist without you. You are what keeps me alive.”
“I know, I was just about to say the same thing,” she cooed as she kissed me.
Angel and I were in bed, making love in the missionary position as a way to celebrate her new ring and the promise we had made. We had been like this for half an hour, moving as slowly and gently as clouds. As I slid back and forth, Angel’s tongue danced and rolled in my mouth, filling it with her sweet taste. Fulfilling the inevitable transition point, I could feel all the muscles in my pelvic region tightening and instinctively increased my speed, trying to coax my building orgasm. As my efforts increased, Angel began panting heavily in anticipation. My ejaculation was signaled with a deep grunt, following the jettison of several blasts of semen. Angel groaned as my seed filled her, but she wasn’t having an orgasm; it was more like she was aroused by the feeling of me cumming inside her.
“I think it’s time we got a little more energetic,” I whispered in her ear.
“Hold on, just let me take off my ring. I don’t want it to break.”
While she placed the ring on her bedside table, I sat up and stretched, sore from maintaining one position for so long. Looking back down, I smiled as I gazed upon Angel’s flawless body, almost glowing in the darkness from her arousal.
“I’m ready, put it wherever you want.”
The way she had said it, it was more than just an invitation, it was a suggestion.
“Angel, you really mean wherever?”
She looked up at me and smiled, her eyes full of love. “I don’t know why you never made the move yourself. I thought I had made it clear: I exist solely for you, every inch of by body belongs to you to be used to bring you happiness. Use me however you want, and I shall happily and gratefully fulfill any desire you may have and welcome whatever you want to do to me.”
I was left completely speechless, unable to process the emotions rushing through me. I slowly leaned down and kissed her. “You are the definition of perfection.”
As I sat back up, Angel spread her legs and raised them, granting me access to her back door. Hard as steel, I pressed the head of my cock against her asshole, hoping the semen from my orgasm and juices from her pussy would act as sufficient lubricant.
“If it hurts, tell me and I’ll stop.”
“Don’t worry, nothing you do could ever hurt me.”
Leaning forward with one hand on her shoulder and the other against the mattress for support, I took a deep breath and slowly entered her. Feeling my manhood penetrating her anus, Angel gave a soft whimper of arousal while I tried to keep my breathing steady. As if welcoming me to go in deeper, her asshole seemed to suddenly loosen with each centimeter I delved. Her interior was so soft that I honestly couldn’t decide whether or not it was better than normal sex. While it was certainly tight, it was only tight enough to make me feel good and it did not restrict my movement or create unwanted friction. It certainly felt different from her pussy. It was a much rounder shape, more form-fitting for my manhood.
Before I knew it, my whole cock was buried deep in her asshole, and Angel’s breathing had quickened as she tried to become accustomed to the mass. But nowhere in her face and eyes did I see pain or discomfort. Reassured, I slowly pulled out, causing Angel to give an ambiguous gasp and for me to once again hope that there was enough lubrication. Deciding to stop thinking about it, I pushed back into her in a single confident shove, drawing a whine of happiness from Angel and a grunt of satisfaction from me. Damn that felt good.
With our bodies perpendicular, I gently pulled out and immediately forced myself back in. Like before, Angel yelped in pleasure and showed nothing but joy at the sensation. The movement was a lot easier the third time around; I felt like I could move in and out with minimal discomfort. Now familiar, I began building up to my preferred speed, quickly causing the bed to rock and shake. As I slammed into her asshole over and over and forced myself deep inside her, Angel gave a soft but continuous cry of happiness. From the expression on her face, she appeared to be in pain, but from the look in her eyes, the tone of her blush, and the sound of her voice, I knew she was in a state of euphoria.
I increased my speed even further, fucking her with all the strength in my body. From the power of my thrusts, Angel was forced to hold onto the bed for dear life and bite down on a pillow to suppress her cries while her breasts bounced wildly. I kept my eyes focused on her, admiring her beauty, her kindness, her sexual openness, and her soul. For ten minutes I kept up that pace, burning through my stamina like there was no limit. At last, Angel released an orgasmic moan and came, causing a mixture of her juices and my semen from earlier to splash out of her pussy.
I slowly pulled out of her, completely erect but feeling like I would keel over if I didn’t catch my breath.
Angel looked up at me with a tender loving smile. “Here, you relax and enjoy yourself. It’s my turn to take care of you.”
I gladly lied down with my cock hard and waiting like a felled tree, and with her eyes filled with hungry lust, Angel leaned over and ran her tongue along the shaft, sending a shiver up my spine. She repeated the action, licking it another two times before pointing it upwards and taking it in her mouth. Feeling so good that I could barely move, I just rested with a big stupid grin on my face and a shifting groan passing from my lips. For three glorious minutes, Angel’s head bobbed up and down as she gobbled on my cock like it was made of ice and frozen inside was the antidote to a poison.
Once she felt like I was ready to continue, she raised her head and left a large glob of saliva on the head of my cock for lubrication, and then brought her body up to my lap. Gasping from the feeling of penetration, she guided my cock into her asshole and pushed herself down onto it, taking in the whole thing. Just like the first time we had sex, Angel leaned forward on her hands and knees and began bouncing her ass on my cock, moving her lower body in a whiplash motion. While she moved, I sat up and licked her breasts, savoring the taste and sensation of her soft flesh against my tongue.
After a few minutes, she shifted her position and leaned back, now riding me with her whole body bouncing. While I could no longer massage her tits with my tongue, I could now watch them bounce like before, and that was just as good. Riding my cock like it was a pogo stick, Angel was no longer able to suppress her cries and moans of pleasure, but I was too horny to care. Before long, I felt my stamina return and decided that I wanted to retake the lead.
Without me having to speak or even make eye contact, Angel knew what I wanted and acted. Without dismounting, she turned around and leaned back, resting her feet on my knees. Curling my body with my hands on her hips, I began thrusting deep into her with all my strength, wishing that I could see her from the other side. While I fucked her asshole, Angel rubbed and fingered her pussy, wiping up every glob of semen from my earlier climax and slurping it up with relish. With nothing but her fingers, she completely cleaned out her pussy, all while moaning in joy from the sodomy. Being behind her with her on top of me, I was blessed with the aroma of her hair as it was scattered across me like a cloud of steam, making me feel like I was wiping my face with the softest silk.
We were able to maintain that position for quite a while, at least until my stomach muscles began to burn and ache. Once again, Angel acted without any messaging from me. She dismounted me and then crouched down, hungrily sucking my cock while I licked her pussy and worked my fingers in her asshole. Once we had both had our fill, she turned back around and we exchanged a long passionate kiss. Angel then lied down beside me and I lifted her leg, but after having my cock cleaned off with Angel’s mouth, I decided not to go anal. Instead, I forced my dick into her pussy, and while Angel was surprised, she was more than happy.
Shaking the bed with each jerk, I resumed fucking her with the same speed and enthusiasm as before, all the while fondling her breasts and kissing her neck. Being pleasured by three combined stimulations, it wasn’t long before Angel came, but at no point did I stop. Throughout her moans, I continued fucking her like a machine, only causing her to moan even louder. After maybe five minutes, I felt my second orgasm welling, but that only doubled my energy. I increased my speed even further, thrusting into her as hard as possible until at least unleashing a gooey white explosion into her slit.
Panting heavily, I pulled out with a string of semen connecting her pussy to the head of much cock, which was still fully erect. I could cum one more time, and I knew exactly where to do it. Without hesitation, forced my dick into Angel’s asshole, making her moan in happiness. By now I was running on fumes, but I did not allow my tiredness to slow me down. I put all of my remaining strength into twenty more thrusts, focusing everything I had into pleasuring Angel. From the look and sound of it, I was doing my job perfectly, meaning there was nothing left for me to do but finish.
Feeling like the floor was yanked out from under me and my strength was ripped away, I finally ejaculated, pouring every last little sperm into Angel and giving a deep groan of satisfaction. Trying to stay awake, I pulled out of Angel and put her leg down. Both her front and back door were overflowing with semen, and my dick was aching from all the work it had done.
“I love you, Angel. I don’t know how many times I have to say that before I feel like I’ve gotten the point across, but I love you,” I whispered tiredly as I held her close.
Giggling, Angel reached out and retrieved her ring, staring at in the darkness. “Don’t worry, Marcus, I know, and I love you just as much.”
It was a sweltering Saturday afternoon and my sister, Angel, and I were headed to the mall. I wanted Angel to experience life around people, but that thought always made me chuckle when I realized the hypocrisy: my parents had always nagged at me to do the exact same thing. I was also job-searching, trying to find any places that would so much as give me an application form. Since I hadn’t given any thoughts to college, I needed to get into the working world as soon as possible and get some experience and security, as well as money.
Angel was in the back seat, looking at her ring with a warm smile on her face. The air conditioner was busted so the windows of the car were rolled down.
“I got to stop off at the bank, I left my money at home,” my sister cursed.
“All right, but let’s not do the ATM. I need some real AC. Just an oasis of cold air would be nice.”
I stuck my hand out the window, wishing that the relieving chill would reach the rest of my body, and Angel leaned forward and wrapped her arms around my neck. “You can say that again. It’s a sauna back here.”
We reached the bank parking lot and braced ourselves once the car stopped. We stepped out onto the pavement, all of us gasping as the frying rays of the sun ripped the air from our lungs.
“Damn global warning! We didn’t listen, Al Gore! We didn’t listen!” I joked as we rushed to the bank, making my sister and Angel laugh.
We stepped into the bank and all sighed with relief as we were hit with that first wave of cold air.
“I’ll just be a minute.”
“Take your time,” I said as Angel and I relaxed in two cushioned chairs in the corner.
“So, what kind of job are you looking to get?” she asked.
“Well I’m hoping for something that is close to home and that will hire me back next summer. Normally I would look for the third-shift jobs since I’m a real night owl, but I want to keep our schedules compatible. I don’t want one of us to always be asleep when we’re together at home.”
“So do you have anything that you’re saving up for?”
I smiled. “An apartment. As soon as I have a stable job and can make a living wage, I want us to move out and get a place of our own, just the two of us.”
“And hopefully when we’re both ready, it could be for the three of us,” Angel said sweetly as she kissed me.
Emily came back, stuffing some cash into her wallet. “All right, let’s get going.”
Just as Angel and I stood up out of our chairs, the door slammed open and three guys stormed in guns in their hands and cheap plastic masks.
“Oh shit, looks like my old luck has returned,” I muttered.
I had heard that crime rates rise during heat waves, but I thought that was only in the big cities. This may be the first bank robbery in Maine in my lifetime. But all the days for it to happen, why now? Angel had a look of fear in her eyes, but I put my hand on hers and could instantly feel her body relax.
“Its all right, Angel. Let’s just do what they say.”
Everyone got down on the floor and the gunmen gave the order for the vault to be emptied. As one of the men began to rob each person in the bank, I could hear police sirens in the background, summoned by the silent alarm.
‘Oh my fucking god, they didn’t bother to cut the alarm or the power? What is their getaway vehicle, a short bus?’
The man came to the girls and I, holding a plastic bag with the other hostage’s wallets and jewelry. We gave him everything we had, but his eyes fell to Angel’s hand.
“The ring, hand it over!” he demanded, mistaking the glass bead for a gem.
Her eyes widened in horror at the prospect of parting with it, her most prized possession. “No, please! Anything but that!”
He grasped her wrist and pulled her up, trying to wrench the ring off her finger.
“Let go of her!” I howled, shoving the man to get him off Angel.
Staggering back, he flinched and his finger pulled the trigger of his gun. My eyes could not have caught the sight, but my mind swore that they had, filling me with horror beyond description. The slug left the pistol, wrapped in smoke with a tail of fire as it spun through the air. Moving right by me, it struck Angel’s shoulder and imbedding itself in her flesh. The air was ripped from my lungs as I watched her collapse in a pool of blood. I felt adrenaline course through my veins and my heart beating with such power that I thought my ribs would shatter. That bullet had struck my very soul, risking me the loss of everything I was and loved. In a great mind-ripping deluge, all of the anger and pain in my life surged through my body, making me feel like my cells themselves were being incinerated. Roaring in fury, I charged towards the man who had hurt her. He aimed his gun at me and fired, and like her, the bullet slammed into my shoulder and was lodged in the muscle, having narrowly missed breaking bone. Adrenaline and rage were keeping me from feeling pain and allowed my arm to maintain its strength.
I tackled the man and tried to take his weapon. The gun was aimed upwards and a third round was fired, striking the overhead sprinkler system and triggering a full shower. With the man distracted by the pouring water, I ripped the weapon from his hand and fired the last six shots at his cohorts, but not to kill them. The bullets pierced their arms and blew holes in their guts, causing them to drop their weapons in pain and collapse. Pulling my victim’s face away from his shoulder, I raised my head with my mouth open and sank my teeth into his neck. Everyone in the bank was shocked and terrified, as with blood spraying forth, I rode the gunmen down to the floor. The taste of gore, the feel and texture of raw flesh, and the screams of agony from my victim strengthened my rage and pulverized any remaining inhibitions and fragments of reason and logic. Snarling like an animal, I yanked my head back, ripping away his jugular vein with a mangled strip of flesh and muscle held between my teeth. I spat it out and attacked again, this time closing my jaws around his windpipe and tearing it free like wrapping it paper.
With my face coated in blood and my victim on death’s door, I turned and pounced on the second gunman. I was drunk with rage and the urge to kill was all that filled me. Having seen me cannibalize his friend, the crippled man was desperately reaching for his dropped gun, which sat just out of reach of his crippled arm. Grabbing the pistol, I kneeled over the man and began beating him savagely in the head with it as if it were a rock. Each impact ripped his skin and blood began to splatter of the end of the gun, landing on the walls and ceiling. I beat him over and over again, until at last, his skull caved in like a watermelon. Getting up, I slowly walked over to the third gunman, who was pleading for mercy and desperately trying to pull himself to the exit. With the water from the sprinklers pouring down on me, the blood of my first victim was washed off my face and out of my mouth. Paying no heed to his cries, I stomped on the back of gunman with enough force to knock the air out of him, then flipped him over and crouched down with my hands outstretched. He screamed in agony as I grabbed the sides of his face and gouged his eyes out with my thumbs. After several seconds, he became silent, dead with blood and brain matter oozing from his eye sockets.
I turned around and stared at Angel like a deer in the headlights. Emily was holding her and tears were streaming from her eyes. The fire of rage in my heart was extinguished, replaced by a deep chill. I rushed over and Emily moved aside so that I could hold Angel in my arms.
“Angel,” I said softly as I wiped away her tears, all the while my own tears splashed her face.
The sight of her wound was ripping the warmth from my body, but she had a look of peace on her face as I held her.
“You’re going to be all right. It didn’t hit your lungs.”
“I know, my love. I’m not going to leave you.”
“The bullet is still inside. I need to get it out.”
As gently as humanly possible, I placed my fingers on the wound, causing her to whimper in pain. Everyone in the bank watched as I slowly reached into her shoulder, moving aside torn flesh and splintered bone, searching Bayan Escort desperately until I finally found the bullet. Angel trembled in my arms and cried out in pain as I pulled the slug out and tossed it aside. She then did the same to me. With unparalleled tenderness and care, she reached into my shoulder with her fingers, dug through the flesh, and pulled out the bullet.
I looked around at the gore that coated the floor. Her hair was scattered out in all directions, almost looking like it was melting and blending with her lost blood. Angel had bled too much; I had to do something to save her. Gaining a desperate idea, I shifted myself so that I was holding her under me.
“What are you doing?”
“We are the same blood type. I’d give anything to keep you alive, even the fluid in my veins.”
I pressed our wounds together and hoped that the blood pouring from my veins would enter hers. I held onto Angel for dear life as I gave her as much blood as possible. The front doors of the bank were smashed open as police stormed inside, while behind me, the gunman whose throat I had torn reached out and grabbed the dropped weapon of one of his comrades. With his dying strength, he aimed the gun at me and pulled the trigger.
There was no beeping heart monitor, but I knew I was in a hospital bed. I ached all over and could feel needles in my arms. There was something else… I felt something warm in my hand. I slowly opened my eyes and saw Angel’s beautiful face. Her eyes were filled with sadness and worry, but her hands were wrapped around mine. Her arm was secured in a sling and her shoulder was bandaged up tight, just like mine. I looked to my right and could hear the whirring of the large machine next to me. It was connected to my arm by several tubes filled with blood.
It was a heart-lung machine. It was no wonder that there was no heart monitor; I had no heartbeat. The pump was keeping my blood flowing.
I looked into Angel’s eyes. “What is the verdict?”
Angel took a deep breath and it was evident that she had been crying. “One of the robbers managed to aim his gun at you and fire before bleeding to death. The bullet pierced you through the middle of the chest. It didn’t stab your heart directly, but it did cut through the muscle and rupture one of the chambers. You were leaking heavily into your chest cavity. Luckily the police were there with an ambulance and they were able to close the wound, but every time they let your heart beat on its own, the tear opened back up. They’ve already sutured and even cauterized the wound twice, and if the tear opens one more time, it will be beyond their ability to repair.”
“So my heart is too wounded to work properly and this machine is the only thing keeping me alive?”
“Yes, but it was never intended to be used this way for an extended period of time. The doctors say there are inherent risks for use, even if it’s just during surgery. Your parents are doing everything they can to find a donor heart, but on such short notice…”
“There is very little chance of me actually getting an organ transplant, let alone a heart,” I groaned.
There was no way this machine could keep me alive long enough to finally get a heart. Before long, I would either get a new heart or I would die. It was a shame none of the men I killed were organ donors. I looked to Angel and saw that her original fear was gone, and the look of sadness on her face was replaced with a smile.
“Marcus, I’ve already offered to give you my heart for the transplant. We’re a complete match.”
While this would be good news under normal circumstances, I was completely horrified.
I tearfully grasped her hand. “No. No, I cannot do that! I can’t take your heart! You are all that is keeping me alive! I cannot take your life just so that mine will be extinguished without you!”
Angel slowly pulled her hand from my grip and instead reached up and cupped my cheek, immediately calming me. She spoke without any fear in her soul. “The last time we were here, you said that as long as my heart was beating, your heart would beat as well. That’s why I’ve asked them that instead of disposing of your damaged heart after the surgery, they implant it into my chest and allow it to start. They don’t expect me to survive, but they are willing to fulfill my wishes. Marcus, as long as my heart gives you life, your heart will give me life.”
“But what if it doesn’t work? What if you die? If I wake up and you aren’t with me, the first thing I’ll do is kill myself.”
Angel leaned forward and kissed me. “I won’t die, I promise you that. I was born out of a miracle, and so too shall I live through one. I told you that I would bring you a lifetime of happiness, and I have no intention of breaking that promise. Marcus, do you trust me? Do you have faith in me?”
“Yes,” I replied with a raspy voice.
“Then have faith in yourself. You’ve sworn your heart to me so many times since we met, and it has kept me alive all this time, just as it will keep me alive when you truly give it to me. No matter how damaged or wounded your heart is, I know that it won’t let me die, just as you never would. Have faith, Marcus, not just in you or in me, but in us, and the future we promised each other.”
Angel and I were in the surgical room, both on beds while the surgeons prepared to operate.
“Angel, no matter what happens, remember this: you are the one that took away my pain and I will love you forever,” I whispered, trying to hold back tears.
“Tell me that after we walk out of this hospital together.”
Respirators were secured to our faces and we were both given drugs that put us into the realm of unconsciousness. The last thing I saw was Angel’s beautiful face.
I opened my eyes and found myself hovering in space. I was completely naked with the eye of God directly above me and Earth below. The bullet wound in my chest was gone and my shoulder was fully healed.
“What is this?” I asked, looking up into the black hole as it eternally consumed the star around it.
Angel appeared before me. “As you so very fittingly called it, it is the eye of God, the Source, and the end of all reason. It is the point in which matter and energy exchange and life and un-life converge. This is the heart of everything, the space in which beginning and end are one in the same.”
“What’s going on?”
“It’s time, Marcus. The day has come when I can finally explain everything to you.” She floated over and embraced me with our naked bodies pressed together. “Tell me, do you know how souls are formed?”
“Through the thoughts and desires of the living. Through the instincts of animals and the wishes of mankind, souls are shaped within the Source and then meet their physical forms upon the birth of infants. Animals following their instincts to reproduce, parents dreaming of their developing child, and even loners with broken hearts wishing for the one to save them; they all shape the energy of the Source and turn it into souls for the next generation. Every soul on Earth is a mix of the hopes for good and fears of evil in the people who came before it. All over the world, children are being born with their souls shaped by the thoughts of the people around them. Then when they die, their souls return to the Source.”
“So God doesn’t create life, humans and animals do? Then that means that every sentient being is basically a god. There is no God, only the people that shape the souls of the unborn.”
“Close, but not completely right.”
She stopped talking, and slowly, we were pulled up into the fiery deluge and absorbed by the black hole in the center. Just like when I tried to kill myself, we found ourselves hovering in a vast spinning vortex of violet energy, stretching infinitely.
“This is the other side, the afterlife that you believed in. Here, the souls of the dead rejoin the Source and become one, fusing together into a single mind of limitless proportions. It is a sentience beyond comprehension, a collection of every thought, desire, instinct, and personality within life. In this sea, everyone is made whole and you don’t know where the spirits around you end and you begin. This is God, the progenitor of life. It is us and we are it. It is the mother of us all, and the thoughts of the living are what impregnate it and allow it to give form to more life.”
“So this is where you came from; this is how you came into existence.”
“Yes, through your desires and wishes, I was formed. Before your cancer, when you were plagued by misery and depression, your subconscious dreamt up a being that would be able to cure you of your pain, the one person who you could love forever and be happy with. Your soul sculpted mine, your heart shaping me to be your ultimate match.
But you did more than that; you were able to do much more. You remember, don’t you? You were dreaming of me years before your pain first started. That was your subconscious mind becoming aware of the growing tumors on your brainstem, signaling and heralding your death. Then, when your tumors truly activated and your agony was born, you became caught between worlds, held in a limbo of both life and death. With this, your will stretched farther than anyone else’s in history. Between life and death, your heart was able to shape more than just my soul, but my body as well. In your pain, you mentally wrote out my blueprints, while your soul served as the gateway between worlds so that I could be formed. A living link between the real world and the source; you were essentially a god, and I was your Eve.”
I thought back to all the times I had met her in the mornings and in the middle of the night, how she would periodically expand in the depth of her character and what she could do. The reason why she could do more over time was because I was shaping her from the other side, and with my soul so close to death, she and I were able to meet.
“That’s why you wanted me to wait, why you didn’t want me to kill myself. You wanted to reach my death naturally, so that by then, you would be fully formed as an individual, and you have saved me then just as you did when I tried to commit suicide.”
“Yes, but just when I thought we would return to the Source together, you realized what I was meant to be and I became your finished creation. When you called out my name, you solidified my existence, and then when you regained the will to live, you pulled us out into the world of the living. Like I said, the Source is the point in which matter and energy exchange and life and un-life converge. I was physically born into your world, thanks to your willpower and all the pain you endured.
Think of it as like you bungee jumping over a lake with me beneath the surface. You make the leap, you fall, you touch the water, you catch me, and then your cord pulls us both out.
With no one else could this have been possible. While you thought your pain was a curse, it was actually a blessing. It was the ability to shape a life instead of just a soul and then bring it to the physical plane. You are my creator and I am your savior, playing the role of the one who will love you and bring you happiness, just as you always dreamed. You shaped me with your heart and soul, with your pain and desperation, and gave me life. I exist solely for you, to love you forever and bring you happiness, and for that, I am truly happy. While you dreamed of me, I dreamed of you, and the life we would live together. You gave me life, you gave me love, and you gave me joy, and for that, I am eternally grateful and will cherish the days we got to spend together.”
Those last words hit me like a punch to the gut. What did she just say?
“Angel, what do you mean you’ll cherish the days we spent together?”
She pulled away from me, trying to maintain a brave smile. “You know what I mean. I’m sorry, Marcus, but this is goodbye.”
“No! You said that you would stay alive with me! You said that my heart would keep beating as long as yours did!”
“It was the only way I could convince you to accept the transplant. I knew that you would rather kill yourself than live without me. I knew that giving you my heart would mean the end, but I’ll happily give up my life if it means you can live yours.”
Tears began to fall from my eyes and my whole body felt like it was in a crushing vise. “You can’t do this to me! You can’t come into my life and then just disappear!”
“I had to lie to you, even if it meant bearing your hatred. I had to give you my heart, even if it meant hurting you. To save your life, I was ready to pay any price. Just to know you’ll live is all I need.”
“Then I’ll just recreate you! As soon as I wake up, I’ll try and kill myself like before! I did it once and I can do it again! I’ll bring you back and we’ll be together like you said we would!”
“That won’t work, not a second time. I was born from a miracle, and a miracle, by definition, cannot be repeated.”
“Then I’ll kill myself still! I can’t live without you!”
“You have to, that was the promise we made each other, remember? We swore we would live for each other? I was created to give you happiness, to bask you in my love while I basked in yours. I lived for you, that was my purpose, my promise. Now you must live for me, you must accept my heart and continue to move forward, even if it means I won’t be there with you.”
I reached out and embraced her, sobbing. “I can’t just let you go! There is no one else for me in the world but you! There is no place for me without you!”
Again she pulled away, but only so that she could look into my eyes and place her hand on my cheek. “That’s not true, Marcus. Haven’t you realized it yet? Our relationship is proof that someone can love you for everything you are, and that you, as broken and cold as you call yourself, can love someone with more passion than anyone on Earth. I’ve been a crutch for you to hang on to, but now, you’ve grown strong enough to walk on your own two feet. You can live a happy life filled with people who love you, I know this because I know you, even better than you know yourself.”
“No, I can’t do it! I can’t live if I don’t have you with me! If you disappear, life will go back to the Hell it was before!”
“I must pass on, but even then, I will always be with you. Even if my soul vanishes back into the Source, you’ll always have part of me within you.” She placed her hand on my chest. “My heart, filled with my love for you, will never stop beating as long as you have the chance to be happy. Every day is a chance for you to turn the world into paradise, to wipe away the sorrows holding you back and breathe the fresh air. I’m giving you my heart, not just because I want you to live, but because I know you can have a beautiful, happy life. Please, do this for me, Marcus. You love me, right? Then promise me, swear, swear that you’ll never stop moving towards happiness, that you’ll create a life where you smile every day. Promise me so that I can pass on without regret.”
“Please, just stay with me.”
We separated, an invisible force holding me still while Angel was pulled back deeper into the Source. “I can’t, it’s already happened. My soul is being called back. Live your life, Marcus. See the world, meet wonderful people, find a wife and have beautiful children. Please, Marcus, promise me.” My eyes widened, as without her smile fading, she began to cry, with two waterfalls rolling down her cheeks. “Promise me you’ll live your life so well… that you won’t need me anymore. That I can fade away, knowing that you’re happy. As long as you’re happy, I can hold back my tears.”
“ANGEL!” I screamed, momentarily breaking free of the force holding me back and grabbing her hand.
I pulled her towards me, using all my strength to bring her just close enough for our last kiss, our lips wet with each other’s tears. My body, mind, and soul, I would have given it all up to wake up in the hospital with her at my side, but with the universe itself pulling us apart, I was forced to give in. My only comfort was the two words I didn’t want to say, but murmured to make her smile.
We were then pulled apart and I was hurled back, shooting out of the eye of God with my last sight being Angel’s soul dissolving back into the Source.
My eyes opened and I took a deep shuddering breath. I was lying in a hospital bed with a respirator hooked up to my mouth and my chest throbbing to the sound of a heart monitor. Frantic, I put my hand on my chest, digging through the bandages until I reached bare skin, feeling the stitched wound from my transplant. I could feel it within me, Angel’s heart was beating with a warmth I had never before experienced, a grateful gentleness to it, an aura that made me feel like her love for me was literally pumping through my veins. But even with that sensation, I could not stop from sobbing harder than ever in my life.
The sky above was thick with clouds, perfectly reflecting how I felt inside as I stood at Angel’s grave. She was buried in the cemetery closest to my house, so at least I could come visit her whenever I wanted. She had been buried without being embalmed or with a coffin, a written request she left behind before the operation. She got to feel the soil on her face with her body untainted by chemicals or strangers’ hands. It was the same way I had decided to be buried, she was the only person who knew that.
My family was waiting in the car at the edge of the cemetery, her funeral now over. Still as a statue, staring at her headstone, I wanted to cry with everything I had, but I had no more tears to shed. I could only put my hand on my chest, feeling Angel’s heart beating within me. I wanted so badly to die, to end my life and join her in the Source, but I had a promise to keep. I would live for her, even if she wasn’t with me, and I would never stop searching for happiness, just like she wanted.
Knowing it was time to go, I crouched down and kissed her grave marker, the stone warmer than it should have been. “I love you, Angel, and I’ll always love you. You told me to find happiness, well thanks to you, I know what to look for. Thank you, for everything.”
Able to work up a single tear, I turned around and walked away. But after ten feet, I looked back to her grave, just as beam of sunlight broke through the clouds and shined down onto the freshly moved soil, making the engraving on her headstone gleam.
EVEN IN DEATH
SHE IS A REASON TO LIVE